Jinx

Well I think I must of jinxed Ella by saying she may be home this week, as now she is eating worse than she has in a long time. Its so frustrating as her and Claire now know what to do, they just won't do it. There is a required amount of ml's each has to eat in order to go home and they just still aren't there. We really hate this and are working with the drs to try to figure out anything to help them get home faster. We've tried different formulas, different times of days to try eating and several different feeders, but not a whole lot of luck. Unfortunately its not an exact science and we are told time and time again, that we need to be patient. Well, honestly I'm sick of being patient. I'm temped to just beg them to let us take them home and see if they do better here with a regular schedule but if they fail they'd have to start all over with new doctors. Ahhhhhhh....I can feel the wrinkles forming!

Slade is doing well though. He wasn't eating enough and we changed his formula from neosure & breast milk to a thicker and higher calorie formula and he seems to be loving it. Now the only problem is that he likes to eat every 2 hours and sometimes eats so much he pukes. We love it though, the more he eats the better!

I have realized that I have a baby holding addiction though. It sounds like a good thing but I actually think its some form of weird post partum/ post NICU stuff. You see, I feel horrible guilt if I set him down. I feel like he is looking at me with such sadness even if he doesn't cry. I have no problem handing him off to be held or put down by others, but I myself, have a hard time doing it. At night its fine, but during the day I just only do things that I can do with one hand...thus the delayed blog post. Oh well, I guess I'll have to work on this issue once the girls come home as I know holding all three at once will be really hard! Here is a picture of him one of the few moments I put him down and then realized that even though he was asleep that he could probably sense my "neglect," ridiculous I know!